The Moment I Knew
by XxBrownEyedGrlxX
Summary: This was it. This was her big day. Amidst the chaos and excitement, one person can ease Musa's anxiety. One person can make this whole ordeal not so scary. One person can tie it all together. But the first thing she realizes as she descends the stairs is that the person who means the most is the one who wasn't in the crowd. M/R Songfic


**No idea where this came from. Inspiration just struck one day but I wasn't on a computer, so I decided to write it now…turned out a lot less good than I imagined, and looking back I probably could have thought of a better situation but whatever. It was obviously inspired by the Taylor Swift song '**_**The Moment I Knew' **_**which I am obsessed with :) Somewhat of an AU depending on which dub you prefer, normally I hate the idea that Musa's a princess because she wasn't meant to be in the original, but it was a plot device I needed for this little ficlet :) Despite it's sort of suckishness, I hope y'all enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! **

Nerves.

Anxiety.

Fears.

Terror.

Excitement.

It didn't matter what the emotion was, chances were the Princess of Melody was feeling inside her flurrying mind. She'd gotten two, maybe three hours of sleep in the previous night in anticipation of this very day.

_What if I don't make a good ruler?_

_What if I screw up? Heaven knows I've done _that _before. _

_What if they _hate _me?_

_What if they don't trust me? _I _don't even trust me!_

_Oh god I can't do this!_

Azure eyes spot an unguarded window. One little transformation and she could be home free! But is that really what she wanted? To be a coward? She wasn't sure if she was ready for this position yet, but she knew she was above running away. She was no coward.

She'd spoken to Sky about it less than two hours ago, as the only one in their tight-knit group of friends who'd been crowned sole ruler of their planet thus far (It was a Melody law that heirs be crowned by their 21st birthday, today. Eraklyon has a similar law, but Stella and Bloom still had a few years before they reached the age for their home planets) she thought he could help, but his assurance that that feeling was normal did nothing to calm her. She knew what would help her calm down, though. A pair of strong arms around her waist and a kiss atop her head from the man she loved, the one she wanted to spend her life with, no matter the cost. If he was here then everything would be Ok. Better than okay! Perfect.

But he hadn't arrived with their friends. She'd invited them all to help her get ready or help set up for the party hours in advanced, and when she asked weeks ago they _all _said they'd be glad to. And while he didn't seem too enthusiastic about it, he still said he'd be here. When they arrived with one vital person missing, they only said that he claimed he was going to catch a ride there later.

Now, she was upset at first, as was to be expected. But her friends all calmed her down, saying that he'd be here when it was time, and she believed him. It was okay that he couldn't be here now because he'd be there when it _mattered._ He promised.

It was going to start in about a half hour, her coronation. She had it all worked out, it'd start out all business, she'd get crowned, she'd get congratulated, she'd talk to a million relatives, and then it would gradually transition to a party especially for her (It was _still_ her birthday after all), they'd bring out the cake, and those who stayed would party. Stella, Bloom, Layla, Flora, and Tecna were going to stay for the weekend and that would be it.

Currently, she was having the finishing touches put on her make up. Even a tomboy such as herself had to admit that she looked more beautiful than she'd ever seen herself. A long flowing red dress with no straps that contrasted her pale skin, her flowing navy hair let loose, gently curling towards the ends with her bangs swept to the side of her face, only half-covering her left eye. Her make-up was done to perfection, and for once, she was thankful for it. She had to look perfect, first impressions and appearances were everything here and if anything went wrong she could create the wrong image for herself as queen. However, sitting there, looking at herself in her vanity and admiring the way she looked, only one thing crossed her mind.

_I can't wait until he sees me like this._

As soon as the make-up artists declared her finished, a pair of servants appeared to whisk her away.

"It's time, love." One of them said softly, trying to get her to follow.

A gentle smile appeared on her face as she nodded quietly. She looked fine on the outside, but on the inside her nerves came back tenfold. Her last days of being a princess. She gently put the brush back down on her dresser and got up, barely registering that she was shaking slightly. The servants didn't miss this.

"You're going to make a wonderful Queen, your majesty." One of them said with a small nod.

"This planet will be mighty lucky to have you as ruler."

This did nothing to calm her, but she smiled and said a quick thank you to make sure they knew their support was helpful.

She left the room and after that, time seemed to speed up, because before she knew it, she'd walked the long winding hallway down to the ballroom and was standing in front of the red and gold double doors. They opened with a loud creak, and before she knew it, all eyes were on her.

The ballroom looked lovely. A velvet red carpet paved her way to the stairs that would lead up to the throne, a nice combination with the marble tiles and pale golden walls, which had bright yellow lights hung from them. But this hardly registered with her at all. She just kept walking and smiling, walking and smiling, never faltering in a step, but looking noticeably stiff. She searched the sea of faces surrounding her, looking for a strong violet gaze that would hold her in place and keep her going until the end of this thing that would give her all the strength she needed.

But she never saw it. Navy never met amethyst; she never got the strength she needed. A worried glance was sent towards her friends who _did _show up, who just shrugged and looked at her apologetically, all save for Layla was looking livid as she held a phone to her cheek.

After that, she was forced to tear her gaze away as she reached the steps. She took each step slowly, one by one, for fear that she'd trip up in her current state. When she reached the top steps she bowed before her father, her bowed in return and said quiet enough so that only she could hear it,

"Your mother would be so proud." He sounded choked up. She gave a bittersweet smile, holding back tears as she took her seat. She missed her so much. Another person who should be here, but was not.

_He isn't here. He said he'd be here. But he isn't. He...he _promised_. _She thought helplessly.

Everything was a blur after that, as if she weren't even in her own body. She sat there, with a fake smile plastered on her face, only speaking when spoken to as tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill every time she heard the creak of the double doors and it was nothing but a caterer or a servant. No flash of magenta hair, not apologetic smirk. Nothing.

Before long she felt the weight of a crown atop her head and the boom of a melodic applause from her family and her people, cheers, champagne popping, the band beginning to play. So festive. But all she wanted to do was turn and run. He bailed. He missed her crowning, and he wasn't there for her despite knowing how nervous she was and how much she needed him. How could she look at him after this?

Her feet carried her down the steps once more where she was carried off by relative after relative. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, distant cousins, wishing her well, congratulating her, giving her hugs and kisses. She responded, of course. What else could she do? They were her family, and she loved them, even if she _did _want to curl up by herself. One by one they came and left, laughing and reminiscing about when she was a little girl, she could only muster a light chuckle. The tears nearly fell when a few relatives even asked where her boyfriend was, expressing interest in meeting the lad who had their Musa so love struck.

"_I wish I knew"_ she almost said bitterly. But she held her tongue and just mustered a simple "He had other plans" every time she was asked. It killed her though. She wished she knew why he wasn't here. What could have caused him to skip out on something so important?

It was almost an hour until she was finally allowed to embrace her friends as they all congratulated her too. However, they were slightly less enthusiastic about it than her family. They knew her so well; they knew the mask she put up when she was trying to be strong. As she hugged the last of them she couldn't help but want to sob and hold onto them tighter. But she didn't, she lingered for a split second before pulling away. She shouldn't burden them, no matter how much they loved her. Besides, it was much too crowded right now.

"Well, what are we waiting for, let's party!" she said, she didn't much feel up to it, but it was her birthday. If she couldn't have fun she could at least act like it.

"Alright!" Stella proclaimed, a signal from the Queen told the band to kick it up. As soon as the music got louder and faster, the adults, or 'stiffs' as Musa preferred to call them left the ballroom one by one. She grabbed Layla and began to dance, hoping it would lift her spirits like it always did. Though she still spared glances at the door every time the song changed and glanced around the room like mad a few times.

After a while she got tired of it. She told her friends she was going to the bathroom and as soon as she was sure no one was around, she made a mad dash for the thing. When she finally got there, she slammed the door shut and sunk to the floor. No tears spilled. She didn't want to go back and have to tell people something was wrong. But oh, how she would have loved to shed all of them right now.

She was sitting on the floor of the bathroom for maybe 5 minutes before there was a knock at the door.

"Sweetie, are you OK?" the muffled, tentative, voice of Flora rung out.

"Perfect." She said, though it sounded much harsher than she intended.

"Can we come in?" Bloom asked.

She sighed and got up before seating herself on the countertop. "Come in." She said, trying to bring all the happy back into her voice. The door opened slowly, revealing five concerned faces.

"Are you OK, Muse?" Layla asked.

She didn't say anything, not for a while at least. When she finally did, it was a small pathetic squeak of "…He said he'd be here." Before a lone tear made its way down her cheek. Stella pulled a tissue from her top and wiped the cursed thing away before it could stain her pallid skin. To a normal person, it might have looked like Stella's vanity not allowing her friends to look less than perfect, but Musa knew. Stella was one of the people who knew Musa better than anyone. And she knew that Musa wouldn't want to deal with people asking questions. She was doing her a favor.

"Maybe he's stuck in traffic?" Stella asked pathetically.

"It's been _hours, _Stell! He's not coming…" The last part was said in a whisper. She buried her face in her hands.

"I was only trying to be helpful…" she said.

"Yeah, well don't." Was her muffled reply.

"Musa…it's not her fault he isn't here." Tecna said.

Once again she went silent. Layla was the next to speak.

"Why don't you guys go back into the ballroom and dance, we'll be in in a little." She said. She hurried everyone out and kneeled next to Musa, rubbing her back comfortingly as her best friend tried her hardest not to cry.

"Why isn't he here?" She asked weakly.

"I dunno, Muse. But when we find him you can bet I'm going to find out."

"I _really _don't wanna go back out there." Her voice sounded like a pleading child.

"I know, hon. But people are going to be asking questions soon."

Musa lifted her head and sighed. "Alright, do I still look okay?"

"You look awesome." She said with a laugh. "Now let's go."

A few more dances with random friends later and her father had wheeled out a cake. It was huge, and a deep red with light pink frosting going across the sides of each tier. At the very top in cursive letters was '_Happy Birthday, your majesty.' _It was decorated with black notes and a few treble clefs. For some reason it only made her feel worse when everyone gathered around and starting singing happy birthday to her. Probably because it _wasn't. _It was probably the worst birthday she'd ever had, she was humiliated, broken hearted, disappointed, and still had anxiety. All these thoughts and more were what pushed the tears over the edge. Right in the middle of the song, the tears she'd been holding in for hours spilled out and streamed down her face, leaving watery black trails in their place. She put a smile on her face to make it seem like they were happy tears, but her real friends knew whys he was really crying. They could see it all in her pained eyes.

She struggled to speak as they finished the song and she blew out the candles. "I…I don't know what to say. I-I'm just so h-happy that I got to share all of this w-with you." She said.

_But the one who I want here the most isn't here._

This made the tears spill faster as the cook cut the cake into pieces and handed them out. She politely declined and went back to the bathroom to "freshen up" (Really she was just going in there to cry some more and _then _freshen up)

By the time she had no more tears left to shed and came back out, they were back to dancing. That went on for about an hour before guests started leaving. The ballroom was now empty, having her maid show the girls to their room, save for the odd cleaning staff employee running about to get the room tidy again. Musa was now alone.

She walked out to the balcony, the cool air hitting her tear stained face stung, but she could deal with it. She got to a bench in front of her mom's favorite fountain and slumped down in it, crying softly to herself. She doubted she'd ever forget this.

She sobbed softly to herself for a while before something caught her ears. Rustling. She looked around, trying to see who was trying to sneak up on her.

"Musa?"

She knew that voice. The voice she'd been waiting to hear all night. And now that she heard it, she was about to boil over with rage. She whipped her head around to see him step out of the shadows.

"Riven?" She asked. "What…what are you doing here?"

_More like what are you doing here 6 hours _late.

"I…I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the party."

"I'm sorry too." She said icily.

"Look, I just…"

"Just _what?_" She demanded. "What could have been so important that you couldn't be there when I _needed _you?!"

"I was-"

"Do you know how _scared_ and_ nervous_ I was tonight? And _all _I wanted was to see you! For _you_ to tell me it was okay, like you _said_ you would! Do you know how _happy _that would have made me? But no, I waited for you _all _night, and you bailed." She said, more tears came by the end of her rant, but there was no mistaking the enraged look in the now-Queen's eyes.

"Where were you?" It was said quietly. So quiet he wasn't sure he heard it correctly.

"Musa...I'm sorry."

She turned away from him. "It's a little late for "_sorry_", Riven. You _really_ hurt me."

"I know, I just...I _couldn't_ come...it doesn't feel right to celebrate...this."

Her eyes narrowed "Couldn't celebrate? What does that even mean, Riven? It's my _birthday and _my coronation! It's supposed to be a _good_ day! Now it's all gone to crap." She said weakly.

"I couldn't celebrate because we both know what this means!" He shouted.

"You're a Queen now, Musa." He took a step toward her. "How are we supposed to be together now? You might have to marry some big shot prince, and even if you _don't_, you really think your family and your planet would approve of _me_?"

For a while, nothing was said after Riven's outburst. To be honest she hadn't expected him to have a legitimate excuse. Not that he was off the hook or anything, but...his answer surprised her. It seemed like an eternity before she spoke again.

"Since when do you care what other people think of you?" She asked. "And besides, how do you think I feel _all_ the time? I constantly fear that _my own people_ won't like me. That's how I've been feeling _all_ day...but if you had showed up like you said you would, it would have made everything better. We could have dealt with our fears together...but you ran."

Now it was his turn to be silent. "Even if the things you're saying _are_ true, we could have found some way around it because that's what love is."

They stood like that for what seemed like forever. She wasn't trying to say his fears weren't true. She knew eventually something would have to give. Even if she wasn't forced to marry a prince, Riven wasn't cut out for royalty, no matter how much she wished he was. He'd go along with it, but in the end, he'd wind up resenting her. This realization made what she was about to do only _slightly_ easier.

"I can't be with someone who can't be there for me, Riven." She said quietly, tears creeping up on her again.

"So...what are you saying?" He asked, feeling the disgustingly familiar feeling of dread creep up on him. It hadn't felt this strong since the last time she broke up with him. He knew what was coming.

"I'm saying this isn't going to work if you keep pushing me away every time something goes wrong!" She said. "You really hurt me this time, Riven. It's over..." She turned away from him.

There was silence for a while before she heard his footsteps. For a moment, she hoped against hope that he was walking _towards_ her, to envelop her in a hug and tell her he was sorry and he'd do anything to keep her, but as the footsteps got quieter she knew she was alone. He'd given up just as she had. It was over.

She sunk to the concrete floor and cried once more. He was gone. But it shouldn't have come as a surprise to her. On some level, from the moment she didn't see his face in the crowd, she knew.

**That's all, folks! Yes, I know it wasn't a very happy ending but whatdya want from me? I love tragedies, and that's what this song was, so there xD**

**Welp, I hope y'all enjoyed! Until next time (Which should be an update on either Journey to Their Past, or Waking Up In Vegas) loves! 3**

**~XxBrownEyedGrlxX**


End file.
